With Windows rolled down- song :)

I know I can do this better, and I must.
I must say things I mean.
I must mean them later as I promise them here.
I must tell you the truth, all of it or none.
Ok, I promise.
I must be mischievous, if I am telling you so.
Or I must be High, and I never know if I really am.

I am sane and simple.
And complex and unwinding.
React and love.
And hope not to judge.
I am looking for reflections.
On panes of other cars.
To find the one which stays, even with windows rolled down.
In memories of past, i dwell and dismiss.
I try and move on.
And move, often, I do.
For the moments I don't, I stand on the street.
I wait to be yelled out or just wait to be scared-shit.

And am moving on now.
On the other side of the street.
I hope to catch you.
With windows rolled down.

:)

The dreams I burnt

I flitted through your memory's pages to snatch a few moments away. To erase and evaporate with the heat I could find in the house of your cards. It was a gentle loving house. Just imaginary and fake as you are. But a lovely dreamy house nonetheless.

It was a dream of dreams. Like the unreal, unachievable, pretentious and unattainable dreams. You know, the nights when we choose not to sleep, and think about the dreams we should dream. Dream we can't touch in our real dreams. Not born of the day and it's dreary belongings. But a dream willed, brought forth by an unreluctant admirer.

So i set your memories on fire. Erased and smudged. Torn and ashen. Every which way in which you can't turn back and look at me. Your sullen eyes. They don't please me. Hence I wanted to go. Out of your memories. Out of the cublicles of your past.

To hope, all over again

In the night,
before the dusk dies and the darkness crowns,
There's a lilting gray that glows,
reflecting in the skin of you

In my expecting dreams
in the hollowness of summer,
in the full warmth of a winter quilt,
in the chapped autumn
and in the brightness of spring

All in a moment squeezed,
all
and some that I manage to keep

And then I see it again
in all that glows for a moment and dies,
in all that glows and brings a hope to life,
in all that brings me close to an end
and yet tells me
to begin all over again

Silences

Silences steal upon me after drawing a desperate breath.
Swallowing everything in a moment.Noises. Ugly. Unimportant. Mundane.

The details no more visible and so no more the possibilty of escaping in their unusual, undiscovered serenities.

I remain alive-the senses tinkling agile with the silences creeping, crawling and growing beneath my surface.

Like a sudden dawn. Like an upturned noon.
I am awake but not willingly. And I'm sleepy but too scared to sleep.

What I know is not normal but what I see is real.

Hope

Hope glides in

On the wings of sight,

A sight renewed

Nudged open,

By what else, but Time.

Not the songs that I wanted to hear.

But the music that lay under the moment's flappings.

Not the truths that I had grown convinced about,

Being rolled in its comfortable sway,

But those that I fell into,

After a few far away sways.

It's a wonderful ascent

Tumultuous, gentle, daring

It's a hope, perhaps sure of its flight.

smile

I want to look at a world that could please me,

a wonderful smile, without a pause

Without the pause of the traffic inside,

of thoughts , of currents, of things,

things that just need to be by the way side

Without the pause of an irritating question,

Without the pause of feelings unknown,

Just a plain smile

A wonderful smile

A year ends

To wonder,

To walk,

To sleep in a dream,

To open a bottle

that's neither lent nor free,

To open my eyes and not see you,

not see you, 'ACJ'

and everyone of you

It's so new that it doesnt even hurt,

It's so fresh that you can only see that,

A blob, that has found its way in

and doesn't want to just pass by,

it's strange,

so strange,

how everything comes to an end.

:( :( :)

...